On being a doormat

“Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for the work of another believer- to pour out your life sacrificially for the ministry and faith of others? It is one thing to follow God’s way of service if you are regarded as a hero, but quite another thing if the road marked out for you by God requires becoming a ‘doormat’ under other people’ feet. Are you ready to be sacrificed like that? Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket- to be so totally insignificant that no one remember you even if they think of those you served? Are you willing to give and be pored out until you are used up and exhausted- not seeking to be ministered to, but to minister?” –Oswald Chambers

What is the balance here? Is there even a balance? How do you care for yourself and keep from being burned out while still allowing yourself to be fully used and exhausted and drained for the service of God? How do you promote healthy relationships, both professionally in a client/social worker role, and among friends, and in spiritual mentoring relationships, and yet allow yourself to become “a doormat under other people’s feet”, if that is what God call you to?

I have been thinking a lot about this as I take social work classes and begin to understand the ethics and responsibilities that shape the profession, but also as I continue to get to know God and the things that he requires from me. I think about it in friendships, both as I give and as I learn to allow the other person to give. I think about it when I think about what I’m going to be doing after I graduate next May, and consider the similarities and difference between social work and ministry, and think about what is really important in both of those areas, to me but even more importantly to God.

Last night I went to a discussion hosted by the campus ministry I have gotten involved with here at school. They were talking about a book called God Space, and we had a whole conversation about learning to really listen to people. It involved a quiz to assess how good of a listener you are, and although I thought I was a good listener, my scores showed otherwise. One of the points someone made was that even when we’re listening to other people, our natural inclination is to think about ourselves. Sometime we think about what we should say next, or what our own experiences are, or what we think of the other person. Sometimes we just think about how long it was since we’ve eaten. But I came to the conclusion last night that a major component of being the “doormat” that Oswald Chambers talks about is not my actions but my mindset. I have to learn to cultivate a mindset that “considers others better than myself” and consistently practice dying to myself in the way that I think. My focus should be less on myself and more on the other person, whoever that person may be and whatever the context in which I interact with them.

I still haven’t figured it out. I think it’s going to be an ongoing conversation. But that was a big revelation for me, so I thought I would share it.